that familiar feeling (alannah)

[sebastian]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 150px; background-color:#fff; border-left: 0px solid #cdcdcd; border-right: 0px solid #cdcdcd;] HERE COMES THAT FAMILIAR FEELING Seven o’clock Tuesday night and the restaurant’s reservations were slowly trickling in to be seated. Sebastian included. Resting casually in his glossed black chair, the man ran a finger around the slightly frosted glass of water that had been placed in front of him, brown eyes regarding the clear liquid with no true interest. His mind was much further away then the water was to be concerned, much much further. A half an hour before leaving his house, he had gone through the necessary preparations. Early that same day he had been relieved that he was able to get off work a few minutes early so he would have time to get ready. Not that his showers ever took that long, but the need to be clear of any grease and grim was doubled due to the company he would be sharing tonight. Though, to be honest, it may have taken a bit longer then normal. Well, it wasn’t necessarily Sebastian’s fault that the sprinkles of heated water on his tired skin brought back plenty of fond memories of a certain little tub he had once sat in. He loved that tub. However, that wasn’t the only factor that seemed to take up his time. Going through his closet for something that looked good took longer then any man would admit. It wasn’t like he was trying to really impress anyone –alright so maybe he was trying to impress someone not that he had anything to prove, but the whole idea of still looking decent was in the back of his mind. So, there he sat at a table for two, dark brown hair still somewhat damp from his shower and his vest secured smoothly over his torso, staring at his glass of water thinking about the same thing he’d been thinking about after waking up in the back seat of a car about 24 hours ago; Alannah. It wasn't a struggle to remember exactly what had happened, feel exactly what had been felt; in fact Seb was sure that he still had that faint glow coming off him. A soft smile graced his face and broke his blank look into a million pieces, lifting his hand from the glass to run through his hair. There was still the whole question of where him and Lana were in this odd little relationship of they shared. It had gone through several levels already; friends, play dates, relentless teases and now one time lovers but the roller-coaster was hardly over. Sebastian was still carefully going about his courtship, he still felt it necessary to be open with her and have her fully trust him, god knew how much he still liked her. There was another smile, this time more endearing. But it was cut short when a waiter interrupted, informing him of his company's arrival. Thanking the man, Seb swiftly and gallantly rose from his own chair to pull out the second one, gaze flicking to toss his more then pleased smile at the girl walking his way, "Well, fancy meeting you here Lana." __ OUTFIT

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[alannah]

[atrb=border, 0, true] these are the days we'll talk about to live so wild and free sebastian belrose, idk how many words, outfit, heh. sorry it took so long   alannah glanced down at the time on her waterproof watch, a small secretive smile appearing on her face before she wiped it off. it was five o'clock, and that meant it was the end of her last class. while she didn't particularly hate her job as a surf instructor, she had been waiting for the end of her shift all day. she clapped her hands once to get the attention of her students, making her usual goodbye speech before watching them all return the surf boards and wet suits to the shack. she waited until the last of one of the bunch was gone before she made her way back to her own car, unzipping her wet suit and throwing on an oversized t-shirt. she jumped into the driver's seat of her old beat up chevy and drove back to her apartment to change. she had to admit it. she was a little giddy about tonight. which was a strange and new feeling for the girl compared to her usual dark mood. she supposed she had to give credit where credit was due. ever since that road trip to the cabin with sebastian, she had been a happier person, in fact, her life seemed to be lighter, brighter. and lana didn't know if that should scare her or please her. scare her because she has never felt this way toward anything before. she's never had anyone turn her world right side up. every man she's ever met has only turned her upside down world darker and colder. or please her because sebastian was different and she knew he was trying to prove to her that not all men were like the one's she's met. she shook her head, ridding the thoughts. she was thinking too much about it. she should just take it day by day. starting with tonight. she bounded up the stairs to her apartment and headed straight for the closet. and she would never admit this to anyone, today was the first time she's ever spent so much time trying to pick out an outfit. she literally spent an hour trying on different dresses before she stumbled upon one she actually liked. after that, the process was much easier. shower, get dressed, do her make up, curl her hair and pick a pair of shoes. by the time she was done, it was already a quarter to seven. luckily for her, the restaurant was only a few minutes away. she was glancing around the restaurant for a familiar figure when one of the hosts approached her and brought her to the correct table. she grinned brightly at sebastian as he pulled out the chair for her like a true gentleman, chuckling softly, "yes, well i received a letter from Prince Charming that i should be here at seven." she joked, glancing up at him as she took a seat. "you wouldn't happen to have seen him would you?" she asked teasingly, amusement glittering in her eyes.   Coded by Juliet of RCR, ATF, SP, & Caution.

[sebastian]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 150px; background-color:#fff; border-left: 0px solid #cdcdcd; border-right: 0px solid #cdcdcd;] HERE COMES THAT FAMILIAR FEELING There were no guidelines for how this night would play out, or how he should really act; for being friends and spending one exciting night together there were no regulations afterward. Like how one night stands ended in never seeing the other person again and leaving before the other wakes up, Sebastian was struck with what exactly was allowed to be mentioned and what wasn’t. So he had decided that he’d just act like he always would with Lana, albeit maybe with a bit of an awkward flair to his words. But that would be completely by accident, he was usually a calm and collected man. Though as brown eyes traced her movements, he suddenly felt under dressed. Maybe she was toying with him though, wearing a little black dress like that with how she looked. He tugged his vest absentmindedly; she looked like she could be walking the red carpet. Obviously she knew that he found her beautiful regardless of what she wore but this was just over kill and it was awfully distracting in the best way possible as she sat down. So much so he nearly missed her joke, but he caught on to her entertainment from her smile. The way her face lit up made him smile back as he turned to sit back in his own chair. “He’s probably off fighting some dragons somewhere,” he sighed dismissingly as he waved a hand flippantly, “and he send me here to keep you company till he gets back.” Laughter mused behind his eyes as his smile stretched his bemused expression. It was their inside joke, but the teasing conversation came as easily as it always did. But after his response with a classic white tooth smiled, Seb leaned back in his seat and let a comfortable silence settle. The smile slowly melted into an apprising look and the playful thoughts in his head quickly switched to more gentle ones; ones more fit for the moment. That when the ever familiar warm feeling radiated from his chest, ever since that trip it had been there fluttering around his nerves and spiking his heartbeat. Nervous was one why to put how he felt inside, he’d rarely ever been in this situation but with her, her opinion just mattered. Finally putting his earlier thoughts into words, he said, “You look beyond beautiful tonight.” Hiding a clever smile behind a sip of water he continued as he put his glass down, “Which actually makes me feel under dressed next to a spectacle such as you, maybe I should have dug out my tux from the back of my closet.” It would have been fitting but to be honest, he hadn’t worn that suit since he moved. He’d always thought that with his luck, it would end up getting oil stains on it. So it had a permanent residence hanging on the back side of his closet door where it was safe and clean. __ OUTFIT

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[alannah]

[atrb=border, 0, true] these are the days we'll talk about to live so wild and free sebastian belrose, idk how many words, outfit, god, i love these two d:   to be honest, she, herself, was a little surprised that she hasn't run for the hills yet. alannah was used to sleeping with someone and then disappear just as the sun was rising. she was the kind of girl who just wanted no complications. it would be clear that they would just sleep around with no cuddling in the end and she would be gone by the next morning. and yet, just twenty four hours ago, she had woken up in the back seat of that car, wrapped in sebastian's arms. not to mention the fact that she had actually had a nightmare free sleep for the first time in her life. and when she had woken up that morning and realized that she was still laying next to him, the first thought in her head wasn't to flee as fast and as far as she could. no, her first thought was about how much she wanted that moment to last. and on top of that, she had actually agreed to see sebastian after what had happened. not that she was complaining because she really enjoyed his company, and if she were to admit it to herself, maybe she would realize that maybe she was even falling in love with him. but she was in denial, and hung on the fact that she has never ever met up with the guy she has slept with before. they were called one night stands for a reason. you see them once and you never see them again. but then again, sebastian was different. she knew that, but this just left her more confused than ever. if they were two really great friends who slept together once, what did that make them? friends with benefits or something more? god, she didn't know. all she knew was that he was standing right there in front of her, looking as amazing as she remembered him to be, and any logical and capability to think straight was shot out the window. she gave him a dramatic sigh etched with fake disappointment, "that jerk! not for another damsel in distress, i hope." she complained in mock anger. "guess i'm stuck with you in the mean time." she continued with her playful teasing before breaking out into a full fledged smile. anybody who recognized her would have been blown away by the fact that alannah wilson was actually smiling. but after spending so much time with sebastian, she barely noticed the fact that she was actually doing it. it just came so naturally when she was around him. she gave him a bashful smile, "thank you. i tried." he just had no idea how much. she knew he didn't care what she wore and that he always found her beautiful, he's said it enough times, but she still felt the need to dress to impress. "you should have" she agreed heartily before laughing softly, "it's okay. i think you look dashing as ever either way."   Coded by Juliet of RCR, ATF, SP, & Caution.

[sebastian]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 150px; background-color:#fff; border-left: 0px solid #cdcdcd; border-right: 0px solid #cdcdcd;] HERE COMES THAT FAMILIAR FEELING If someone were to ask him the question as to why he made dinner plans with Lana hours after the trip, Sebastian would have to take a moment to think. After mulling it over he would just shrug and say that he wasn't thinking, he just acted on how he felt and he felt like they should have dinner. usually a man to think things through, he decided to take the chance at the unknown. Though he ended up surprising himself by picking some more upscale sit down restaurant then a casual smaller joint. Some internal part of him still wanted to impress her, though she was well aware of how different he was to other guys since she had pointed it out several times, but he still had that school boy want to show that girl he liked that he could interesting and fun. It was childish, but he didn't care. He was there sitting at a table with one of the only girls that could make his heart beat faster then he thought possible. to be honest he didn't think that he could accurately put into words just what the brunette beauty did to him, but he didn't want the feeling to stop. Suppose that's another reason he wanted to ask her for an evening out, he wanted to make sure they still had those clicking personalities. And maybe also for the somewhat selfish fact that he wanted to see if Lana would give herself the chance. Not that he had ever once doubted her in his life but Seb knew that she wasn't really use to hanging out with men after she slept with them. She could have stood him up but the man smiled to himself that she didn't. That must mean he's doing something right by her. Sebastian had to stop himself from spitting up water laughing when Lana erupted unhappily if her prince was off saving some other girl. he held his hand loosely across his mouth even after he swallowed his sip, brief chuckles escaped as well, "No," he calmed his amusement, "your prince is a one-princess kind of guy." Though after a moment he shot her a curious look, that little lost puppy look finding purchase on his face. He wasn't sure if he should take her other comment seriously but her smile made him relax and heave a confident relief sigh internally. Extending a hand to thumb over the folds on his cloth napkin on the table, he grinned at her from under his lashes. she didn't simply just try to be pretty, she was pretty (insert any beautiful adjective here) and there was a difference. "Well, thanks for your praise," he tilted his head back in acknowledgement and then turned joking, "but let's be honest, most of my clothes have oil stains on them from fixing cars, so we are just lucky I found something that was spotless." His smile reached ear to ear and his brown eyes sparkled with un-shown laughter. __ OUTFIT

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[alannah]

[atrb=border, 0, true] these are the days we'll talk about to live so wild and free sebastian belrose, idk how many words, outfit, god, i love these two d:   alannah wasn't generally a people person but ever since she met sebastian, she was starting to be a little more tolerable around other people. she didn't know what it was he was doing, but she wasn't sure if it was a good thing. she was usually easily annoyed by anyone that tried to approach her, but she found herself that sometimes she actually didn't mind talking to other people. in fact, sometimes she even welcomed it. not that she would ever admit to anyone. not even to herself. she knew that sometimes she could be a little oblivious to things, but even she wasn't that blind to not see that she was slowly changing and her cold exterior was melting little by little. she knew she could be a tease when she wanted to be- especially if she was looking for a companion for the night- but she has never shamelessly flirted with anyone for so long without actually doing anything sexual. lana never really had to do much to have men practically fall to their knees for her. she was just one of those girls. people called her a whore for a reason. they didn't just go around pointing fingers and make accusations. but when it came to her firsts, sebastian seemed to be introducing her to a lot of those. sure, she's flirted with her guy friends before, but they were just teasings that only lasted for a few minutes. with sebastian, it was just ongoing. for a while, she had figured that he was only all talk. and for the most part, he was. but he had surprised her when he gave up no protests when things were getting hot and heavy in the car. for the longest time, she had feared that he regretted it. in fact, she still thought he did- even though he had invited her to dinner. a part of her was still expecting that this would all blow up in her face. that all she had to do is turn around and he would be gone. or worst, tell her that he hadn't actually wanted it at all to begin with. she knew she was known for her seduction and need to be in control when it came to anything sexual, but she would never force anyone into doing anything. because as much as she didn't want to admit it, she didn't know what she would do with herself if she had done that or if sebastian wasn't around in her life anymore. she glanced up at him, eyes studying him. he had somehow become someone important to her, and she didn't want to lose him or his friendship. at first, she had considered not coming when he had initially asked her. like her usual response to most things when it came to anything that resembled commitment was to flee. flee as fast she could without looking back. but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that her feet wouldn't move. didn't want to move. she couldn't make herself turn away from someone as amazing as sebastian. she grinned brightly at him, arching a brow slightly, "my prince?" she asked curiously, wondering where he was going with that. "well he better be a one princess kind of guy because i don't know how happy the princess will be if he wasn't." she added with a small grin, her cheeks flushing a little. she couldn't help but think just how adorable he looked when he glanced at her through his lashes like a sad little kicked puppy. or even cuter, a little boy feeling guilty over something he knows he shouldn't have done. she laughed at his comment, "that's true. maybe next time, i'll just have you leave all your clothes in the closet." she teased before sending him a playful wink.   Coded by Juliet of RCR, ATF, SP, & Caution.

[sebastian]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 150px; background-color:#fff; border-left: 0px solid #cdcdcd; border-right: 0px solid #cdcdcd;] HERE COMES THAT FAMILIAR FEELING He wasn’t anything special, or at least it was in his opinion that he wasn’t anything that needed praise, though when he did get those compliments, he accepted them with a smile. But the man had no ego in his head. Well, Sebastian didn’t have a real ego, he had one, everyone did, but his was more for humor and to joke about in passing. Otherwise, it just didn’t seem to exist. Either way, it didn’t matter if he thought he was special or not, what mattered was that the girl across all the plates and glasses and silverware, thought that he had s certain something. And to be honest, he didn’t need more then one person thinking that to make him want to keep being special to them. Not that he had ever tried to turn anyone way with rude comments before anyways, but being special was a good feeling. It didn’t matter why someone was special, just that they were. They could be the special in the worse thing in the world, but they were still special. He smiled at the thought, recalling something. He and Lana had had that conversation, if only brief, before. A half smile later and he gazed at her with a nod to her question. Sipping his water glass again, he moistened his lips and set the glass back down, resting his hand still idly around it. “I don’t think the prince would be happy if the princess didn’t agree.” It was the way she had no fear with what she said that attracted him to her, there were more than handfuls of reason behind his admiration, but that was just one. Sebastian, himself, usually wasn’t so risqué when he talked in public places, but the little brunette made him braver. Chest nearly swelling with pride to puff out proudly and without hesitance, utter a statement that was suggestive. Though that was Lana’s special super power, he couldn’t hold a candle to her in that regard. He watched her lips as she spoke, making his mental images fly in his head. Adjusting his position in his seat, Seb leaned forward a bit and rubbed his slightly stubbled chin deviously. “Next time,” he hummed with a flirty ring, he liked the sound of there being a ‘next time’, but he lowered it to a rough whisper for only her ears, “Next time, I’ll have to pick a less popular place then. Just so you’re the only one getting the free show, and not that nice elderly couple at the table next to us.” His thumb pointed subtly toward said table. Sebastian had a policy not to kill anyone by walking into a restaurant naked. “Besides, I don’t think I’d be let in anywhere if I was strolling in, well, nothing.” He said as he leaned back in his chair with a bemused smirk. He wasn’t an exhibitionist in the slightest, but he was noticing that Lana was trying to make him one. She may not realize it but, it was true. And that actually made him relax. First the car now going naked on another date. Sighing with a grin, the man looked endearing across the table at his company, he actually wasn’t sure she knew about that being his first time ever do that in a car. In the most casual, and kind of humorous, way he could, the mechanic cooed, “That was the first time I had sex in a car, by the way.” So in a way she took his car virginity, but Seb figured he shouldn’t say that with all the ears around. But after the words left his mouth, he also realized that it was the first time either of them had mentioned, in actually no bullshit words, what happened between then on the trip. And he hoped it didn't come out wrong... __ OUTFIT notes; lol well one of them had to say something about it sometime xP

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[alannah]

[atrb=border, 0, true] these are the days we'll talk about to live so wild and free sebastian belrose, idk how many words, outfit, blah this post sucks   alannah was a firm believer of the quote "if you expect the worst, you can't be disappointed." it may seem like something a pessimist would say, but it was true. in fact, she thought it was something an optimist would say. yeah, it was bad to expect the worst out of everything and believe the worst of everyone, but if you look at the worst, there is no possible way to be disappointed. it can only go up from there. and yet, somehow, even when she thought the worst of everyone, people still managed to disappoint her. somehow, the men in her life just had a knack of one-uping her. even when she thought it couldn't possibly get worst, they just go right ahead and prove her wrong. which is why, she supposed, when she initially first met sebastian, she was immediately hooked onto him. she didn't know if she only liked being around him because he was the first man in her life to be different or if it was because he was just one hell of a man. when she first met sebastian, it might have been because he was different. she was attracted to the fact that he wasn't like any man she's ever met. and that, itself, was an understatement of the year. but after spending so much time with him, and joking around with him so much, she knew it was the latter. sebastian, as a person entirely, was a different person than a lot of people. he was most certainly one of a kind. she grinned cheekily at him, "well the prince always has been known to be a gentleman." she responded with a small chuckle before taking a sip of her water. she put her glass down on the table in front of her, glancing at him, feeling her heart skip a beat before swelling with warmth. she didn't think he knew just how much he meant to her. he made her feel all these things that she hasn't felt in such a long time. in her entire life time, she has never connected someone like this. not in this level anyway. she watched as he leaned in closer and out of curiosity, leaned in closer herself. she flicked a subtle glance to the table he pointed at and tried to hold back a laugh, but failed miserably as she giggled. "i don't know... i would pay good money to see that show." she disagreed with a smile tainting her face. she rolled her eyes at him as she scoffed, "please, if you walked down the streets naked, i think i would have to fight off a million girls just to catch a glimpse of you." she teased even though the thought of having to fight girls off him gave her a bitter feeling at the pit of her stomach. there was an ugly feeling inside her heart at the thought of having to share him with other girls. she didn't know why. it wasn't like he was her's. lana felt her heart drop at the words that left his mouth. her eyes widened as she looked up at him. her throat went dry and her heart stopped beating. "wh-wh-what?" she asked, her voice low. that.... that wasn't possible. he was sebastian. if that was his first time in a car then wouldn't that make her a rapist? or at least something of the sort? she had never asked him. he never told her. what if she had forced him into it? oh god. did that make her someone like her uncle? oh god. "i didn't..... you didn't...." her face paled as she glanced up at him, "i'm going to be sick..."   Coded by Juliet of RCR, ATF, SP, & Caution.

[sebastian]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 300px; height: 150px; background-color:#fff; border-left: 0px solid #cdcdcd; border-right: 0px solid #cdcdcd;] HERE COMES THAT FAMILIAR FEELING If he had worn a hat he would have tipped it in reply to her compliment, but Sebastian wasn’t wearing any hat so he just smiled. It was the warm fuzzy feeling inside his chest that took any response he may have had and turned it into a simple humble gesture. There were few things the mechanic didn’t have quick charmed replies for. And with Lana giving him a genuine compliment, granted mixed among cute smiles and chuckles, was one of those things that amazed him. Not for the fact that she complimented him but for the fact that she didn’t give out comments like that to everyone. He was proud to be the lucky few. In the beginning of this odd sort of flirty friendship, he has been hoping to get her to accept him on her warmer size and relatively open up a bit more, but now that that was accomplished it was so such more then that. It became the chance to test his little crush and see if he could possibly step over that line and be more than just the average man she met. And oh had that line definitely been crossed. No regrets about it, and now he just wanted to prove it to her more. And it wasn’t about the sex, though he’d admit to his first in-car experience to be quite pleasurable, Seb held her in a higher regard that she just didn’t realize. Laughter in his eyes, he tried to quell his obvious amusement, he didn’t want to draw attention to their table with loud laughing, though a chuckle or two squeaked passed his lips anyways, “I’m no Justin Bieber or One Direction, Lana, I won’t have hordes of women chasing me.” He bit his bottom lip at that thought, and then waved it off, “besides I’d probably be hiding behind you anyways, so I think the girls would get the idea that I’m only interested in one woman. Prince charming versus a bunch of ladies in waiting is hardly fair.” The idea of being mobbed by crazed women just after his body since he was bare to the world was no something that the man thought about a lot…if ever. It wasn’t appealing. In his mind, he’d rather just be naked with one girl where things were much more intimate and sensual and not walking down the sidewalk. His nose crunched for a mirco-second as he glanced down to the table clothe, he was definitely a one woman man. He had said something wrong. It wasn’t so much her words that had convinced him of that fact it was the shaky sound of her voice and the hesitant look in her eyes. He had never before inspired that kind of reaction from her and it worried him, a seeping feeling from deep within his gut that was spreading with her continued panicked. Instantly he wished that he could calm her; scooting to the edge of his seat, he reached a hand across the table to press over one of hers, “Alannah, darling,” the pet name just slipped out in the sudden worry, “I admit I could have brought that topic up better,” his mind was going as fast as it could to find the right words and put them together, his thumb unconsciously soothing the back of her hand, “uh, how about we order some food, hm? Maybe if you get some sugar in you it’ll help your stomach…” his first thought was get her distracted from what ever had triggered the fear, and considering they hadn’t even glanced at the menus on the end of the table, food sounded like the best distraction right now. But Seb thought that he sounded kind of lame, usually he was better then this, but it was so sudden it caught him off guard. Part of his mind, the part way in the back throughout this whole thing was rolling over what could have made her respond the way she did. It had happened right after he mentioned what they did during the trip. And with that his mind froze, while still focusing concern on her externally. He didn’t even want to consider it, but, the only thing he could think of that made sense was that she regretted that trip. And his heart just plummeted. __ OUTFIT

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[alannah]

[atrb=border, 0, true] these are the days we'll talk about to live so wild and free sebastian belrose, idk how many words, outfit, rambly and sucky, sorry x.x   alannah was a firm believer of having people work hard for what they want. there was nothing like a good reward when you know you've earned it. she despised anyone that got whatever they wanted without having to lift a pinky. she believed that those people deserved to be six feet under the ground. in the same regard though, she would never want to be overindulged in rewards. when you start to receive the rewards on a daily basis, it becomes a routine. and not only are routines boring, they're also less rewarding. it wasn't special anymore. maybe it was just the commitment issues in her talking, but it made sense to her. people stop appreciating the things they have when they're constantly receiving it. which is why it was rare that lana would ever have a nice thing to say about anyone. if she was complimenting you, then that was worth something because it doesn't happen. she only gave people a reward when she felt that they deserved it. and not a lot of people in the world deserved it. none, really. that is, until she met sebastian. he seemed to be the only one worthy of being complimented. but, of course, she knew she couldn't spoil him too much. otherwise her sweet compliments would mean nothing. they would just be words spoken out of routine. and he deserved more than that. she held him in a high regard. he was the first person to really be close to her. other than her parents (which, doesn't count, she supposed because she was only four when she died), there was no one who really ever got past her barriers. her uncle had done a damn good job at damaging her ability to trust people. he had turned her world upside down at a young age and twisted this innocent little girl into a snarky bitch that was bitter about everything. but sebastian brought light to her dark world. a light that she was more than willing to cling onto for as long as he let her. sometimes it may not seem like she appreciated his company, but she did. she crinkled her nose in disgust at his comment, "ew. no. don't even compare yourself to them. they have nothing on you. first, you're all man and they're all.... boys. and second, you actually have a personality instead of being a fake to please fans." she shivered, making another face at him as if his comment made her sick. in her opinion, he was much more handsome than any of those boys. if they were the only men left in the world, she would pick sebastian any day. then again, she might be biased. she felt her heart skip a beat when he said that he was only interested in one woman. did that mean he was interested in her? she bit her lip, trying to hide the school girl grin and blush from him before slowly collecting herself. when she was sure her blush was gone, she resumed to her usual lana persona, trying to seem confident and unfazed, "that's fine. i can take them on." but just as the good moments were passing, the entire mood shifted to something much darker. at least to her it did. the second he told her that it had been his first time in a car, she felt her heart stop beating and her breathing getting shallow. alannah was known for her desire to be in control when it came to the sexual things in life. it was her twisted way of making herself feel better. it justified her reason to sleep with anything that walked on two legs. if she was the one in control of the situation, initiating the sex and dominating, then it was her choice. she was forced into anything, and she had a say in the matter. after what her uncle had done to her, she had always had a constant need to be in control over every aspect of her life- especially in the bedroom. when she was in the car with sebastian that night, she had never thought that he didn't want it. it never occurred to her that she might be forcing him to do it with her. it never occurred to her that she hadn't asked him. and it scared her like crazy that she might just have turned into the biggest scum on earth like her uncle. she couldn't calm her shocked state of mind or the internal freak out session. not even when he had called her darling or even his calloused thumb rubbing soothing patterns at the back of her hand. "y-y-you w-wanted it, though, d-didn't you?" she stammered, her voice small. she was staring unblinkingly at him, "i... did i.... did i force you?" she asked, her eyes finally focusing on him as if finally seeing him and not just through him. "i didn't know.... you should have told me.... i didn't.... i would never..." she was almost hysterical at this point, but she didn't care, "i'm so sorry...." she continued, "please don't hate me." she whispered, her eyes finally dropping down to the table as her stomach clenched nervously.   Coded by Juliet of RCR, ATF, SP, & Caution.